You're My Everything

The chorus of this song is at the very end, and it's the ringtone assigned to my husband's number on my phone. The first time he had called me after several months of not hearing his voice, I couldn't even talk to him, because just hearing that ringtone come across my phone was extremely emotional. I had apologized, and said that when the phone rang, and it was his ringtone, it made me feel like life was normal again, and he was just calling me to come pick him up from work. I continue to count my blessings, because at least I heard the ringtone, and his voice. I know he is safe.

How to Fake It

I have always had a hard time showing my emotions in front of people. Crying, not an option. Anything but a smile, not an option. I am not sure why or how I have come to believe this, other than, I was taught at a fairly young age that I better not show weakness, and crying, of course, is a sign of weakness (at least in my opinion).

I had gone to a Scentsy party hosted by one of the wives from the sub. I didn't really want to go, truth be told, because I have been feeling like I just want to be alone with my "weakness." Turns out the party was exactly what I needed, and I met some wonderfully funny ladies.

One comment, however, stood out more than most. The comment was made after I had said that I have a hard time showing my emotions in front of people. One lady piped up and promised this. "We will break you." I almost gave in right then and there.

After a lifetime of the same habit, I do believe this woman will eventually be right. This life is hard. I am not sure I like who it's turning me into, but time will tell. I am sure I will grow in some ways, and in other ways, I will digress. Life has a funny way of balancing itself out like that, and I feel as if that balance is well on it's way.

I know I am not making much sense, but future blogs will show clarity.

Happy Father's Day, my Chris. I love you.

One Step at a Time
by Joseph Morris

In the morning with the journey all before us on the road,
It takes courage to begin, that is sure;
For the first step is the hardest, and we always think the load
May be greater than we've power to endure.
When the first mile lies behind us we can say, "Now that is done,
And the second and the third will soon be past."
So we trudge on through the noontime, and the setting of the sun
Finds us coming to our stopping-place at last.

When a man would climb a mountain he's appalled to see the length
Of the slope that reaches up into the sky;
But he starts, and with the climbing he will find he's gained the strength
To attain the very top, however high.
For the climbing of a mountain takes but one step at a time--
Who has courage to do that will reach the goal;
He will stand upon Life's summit and will know that joy sublime

Which is his alone who dares to prove his soul.

Mouse Killer Extraordinaire

I think my husband is going to be very happy to know that his wife just added "Mouse Killer Extraordinaire" to her list of totally awesome and wonderfully amazing list of things she does when he is on deployment. LMAO! I am pleased to report that since the brutal murder of one said mouse via my weapon of choice, a broom, there have been no further signs or sightings of any mice inhabiting our lovely home! No pictures will accompany this post, today. :)

On A Good Day

Lyrics to On A Good Day :

Little bit lost and...
A little bit lonely
Little bit cold here
A little bit feared

But I hold on
And I
Feel strong
And I
Know that I can

Getting used to it
Lit the fuse to it
Like to know who I am

Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day

And it feels like me
On a good day

I'm a little bit hemmed in
A little bit isolated
A little bit hopeful
A little bit cold

But I hold on
And I
Feel strong
And I
Know that I can

Getting used to it
Lit the fuse to it
Like to know who I am

Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter...

And it feels like me
On a good day

Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day

True Friends Never Judge You

I received a message from a friend, today, though I have revoked that title from her. She told me that I was stupid for marrying Chris. She mentioned that I had finally found true love with a man who is never going to be here for me, and that I better wake up, because it's obvious my life sucks.

My reply went much as follows: My life does not suck. My life is very hard, yes, but it definitely doesn't suck. There are many blessings I can count in my life.

• One: I have a man by my side who would never allow me to want for anything within his power to give me. 
• Two: True my husband is gone from home a lot, but when he is here, he makes me happier than any man in my life ever has, and they were always home. 
• Three: I have a dream job that I would never have had if I decided to stay in Florida, or go back home during his deployment instead of staying here. 
• Four: My son is living a dream life, one only few have the chance to do, and one many dream of.
• Five: I have a husband I can be proud of. He is out there fighting for my freedom, the freedom of all of America, and the freedom of people's1st amendment right to call me stupid for the choices I made.
• Six: I have a wonderful and supportive extended family with my in-laws. My mother and father-in-law are two very down to earth people, for whom I feel very blessed to know. My sister-in-laws are amazing people, who tell me often how much they appreciate me being here. It feels very good to feel like I belong.
• Seven: I have countless friends and family members who support my decisions, and I am thankful every day that I don't have to hear things like what my "friend" has mentioned. 
• Eight: I have the ability to tell people who want to be negative and cruel to get the hell out of my life. 

I love my life, and though I may complain about things from time to time, I wouldn't be anywhere else, because I am with my soul mate. There is nothing he wouldn't do for me. There is no mountain he wouldn't climb for me. There is no fire he wouldn't walk through for me, and you better believe there is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for him.

That's Not OK

(Photo Credit: Lindsay Holt)
Photo posted by: Lariah Nicole
 

You asked him to fight.

I said OK.

You asked me to live alone.

I said OK.

You asked me to cry myself to sleep.

I said OK.

You asked him to get shot at.

I said OK,

and now you ask us to do it for free.

That's not OK.

It's a sad day in our country when our men and women who serve, fight for our freedoms and give their lives every day, have our government turn its back on them by taking away their pay, leaving families struggling to pay bills, put food on the table, then tell them it's all for nothing ... literally. In my opinion, conducting this act at such a crucial time in our nation's fight for freedom from terrorism is nothing short of treason, and everyone involved should be impeached. Abraham Lincoln said it best. "Congressmen who willfully take action during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs, and should be arrested, exiled or hanged."

My husband said to me, "I will be looking for another job, because one of the main things they promise us when we sign our lives away is that our families will always be taken care of." This brings me to tears. Here is a man who is living up to his end of the deal, leaving his family behind to do the job the government asked him to do, and now, the government isn't living up their end of the deal. Promises made, promises broken.

Photo of me by Theresa Benedetto: T Photography

It's difficult enough having my husband gone on deployment, not to mention having to constantly worry whether or not I will be able to be here when he gets home. It's scary knowing we can lose everything we worked so hard for. It's upsetting to know the sacrifices we make as a family are not appreciated. I hope Congress and our President sleep well at night, because I know I sure don't.

 

I have kept the amount of stress and hardship this has caused away from my husband. We Americans need his mind sharp and focused on his task at hand out at sea, and his family needs him coming home SAFE to us. That means tackling these issues alone, not with my partner as issues should be dealt with, has become a daily part my of life. We can't afford to have him worry about home when his job is already stressful enough. He has been told, per my request, that I have things completely under control, and everything is fine. Lie? Not really ... I do have things under control as much as I can have them under control. Are they fine? Well, how fine is fine when someone is taking half or all of your income away without notice? Even with notice, that is devastating. I am lucky enough that I have a job, and my income can support us to some extent during a government shutdown. However, I don't receive BAH (housing allowance) to cover our $1800.00 a month rent required to live in Hawaii where he is ordered to be stationed. I have no idea what I would do, but I will cross that bridge if I come to it. Dealing with the stress of not knowing what will happen day to day is aging me quickly.

My husband and sailors of the USS Cheyenne leaving on deployment. I love you, Baby! I am proud of you all, and the American citizens are not turning their backs on you! We all support you and are here fighting for your rights while you are out fighting for ours ... 

Those of you who know me, know that when I get angry, it's the best time for me to get things done. Through the online protest event, every last one of us are able to easily contact congressmen and women all over the nation with the click of a button. As responses from our leaders come in, I will post them here. If you receive a response from congress, please feel free to post it as well. A letter was also sent that informed me of a pledge, which is posted below, that has been taken by several members of Congress to forgo their pay in the event of a government shutdown. I am involved in as many protests as I can find the time to manage. Writing and making phone calls every day has filled my free time. I told Chris I wasn't sure how much one voice could do, but just look at what Hope Bradley has done by forming ONE online protest group with 1.9 MILLION members and growing! If her voice can make a difference, imagine what all of our voices combined can do!

I am posting this blog to urge every American to get involved. If the government can take the pay from our military, who's to say YOUR PAY isn't next? Please join this event and/or write to Congress! It costs you nothing except FIVE MINUTES of your time to support what a lifetime of freedom our military men and women have given to you. This fight is not over. Until the budget is fixed, our military men and women will have to fight for their right to be paid over, and over, and over again. 

Get involved and help get this act passed to ensure our military is always paid! 

LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!

Ensuring Pay for Our Military Act of 2011

Event Details

Write Congress

The letter is already written for you.

You can change it as you like, or leave it as is.

Fill in your information and send it. It's that simple.

Write the White House

Who Signed the Pledge
 

(If If your government leaders haven't signed it, write them, and ask, "WHY?")

Direct Contacts To Congress

Senate

Representatives

Congressional Leaders

Bold & Kreative Photography
This photo came with this caption by Britney McGinnis: 

If you don't want to pay my husband, you can send him home.
He has someone special he hasn't met yet. 

The Walk

The Walk - by Richard Paul Evans

My name is Alan Christoffersen. You don't know me. "Just another book in the library," my father would say. "Unopened and unread." You have no idea how far I've come or what I've lost. More important, you have no idea what I've found.

I'm no one important or famous. No matter. It is better to be loved by one person who knows your soul than millions who don't even know your phone number. I have loved and been loved as deeply as a man can hope for, which makes me a lucky man. It also means I have suffered. Life has taught me that to fly, you must first accept the possibility of falling.

I don't know if anyone will ever read what I'm writing. But if you are holding this book, then you have found my story. You are now my fellow sojourner. If you find something in my journey that will help with yours, keep it.

Some might call this a love story. Those without love will call it a travelogue. To me, it is one man's journey to find hope. There are things that happened to me that you might not believe. There were lessons learned you might not be ready for. No matter. Accept or dismiss what you will. But let me warn you in advance -- which is more than I got -- that what you read won't be easy. But it's a story worth telling. It's the story of my walk. 

This is the first page of a book that Chris bought for me the day before he left on deployment. I hadn't really had time to get into it, as I have been working quite a bit during this orientation period. I was actually supposed to work today as well, but felt my body needed a day to take just to myself. I walked my 6 miles, today. I put my swim suit on and basked in the sun for an hour, and I started this book. I haven't been reading it long, and I am already on chapter 5. So far, it's amazing.

I also copied this same text to Chris, and my plan was to write him a chapter a day. However, I think I will just read it, and pass it to him when we meet for a rendezvous. It will give him something to read on the last legs of his own journey.

The Sunset's Whisper

The Sunset’s Whisper

Every day, she walks down to the ocean's edge

and lets the waves gently roll upon her feet.

The coolness of the water always takes her by surprise at first,

but as the next few sets of waves roll in,

she finds it more and more refreshing.

She gazes upon the horizon wishing her love

back into her arms.

 It is then that each sunset whispers to her,

"You must wait another day."

She thanks God for allowing her heart

to love this much, again,

 turns away from the peaceful sound of the rolling waves,

and heads toward the direction of home.

She gathers strength from her daily visits to the ocean's edge,

knowing one day soon,

 the sunset will whisper unto her,

“Your love has returned.”

Until then, she holds him close to her heart,

loving him more deeply than ever before. 

by: Jen Avakian

Determination

Just a little motivational story for the day.

 DETERMINATON

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before. 

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built. 

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.
 

"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever. 

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment. 

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife. 

 

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal. 

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.

I Don't Want To Feel

I wanted to go to bed early, tonight, just so I wouldn't have to feel anything more, today.  It's definitely a bad day.

During my routine 6 mile walk, today, I made the usual pit-stop at the exact place on the beach where Chris and I were married. Usually, it makes me feel pretty good to be there. Today, however, I completely lost it. I had a pretty good melt down, and pretty hard cry, and left the spot wishing I had passed it by just this once.

Back on Track

Chris and I spent several months creating memories while he was home to keep close to our hearts when we would be apart. In that time, we went out to dinner A LOT! We even had dessert ... and DRINKS! Quite a few drinks ... cough. :) What does that mean? It means I got fat. It was well worth it, though!

However, I am ready to get back into shape. One of the things I decided to do for myself was to set a personal goal of losing 30 to 40 pounds and toning my body during the time Chris will be gone. I think it's doable if I work really hard.

Today was my first day. I power-walked 6 miles! I am drinking health shakes for breakfast and lunch following the MonaVie RVL weight loss plan. HOLY SMOKES, are those shakes YUMMY!!! I took a MonaVie EMV Lite all natural (yep .. they do exist!) energy drink with me just in case I might need a boost. I did! It allowed me to go an extra mile, as my original plan was only to do five miles. THANK YOU EMV LITE!

During my workout, I stopped on the beach at the spot where Chris and I were married. I sat there for a short break taking it all in. Closing my eyes and remembering his arm around me, and mine around him, remembering our first kiss as husband and wife, and laughing at the site of him carrying me over the threshold of our door when we got back home. :)

I miss him, but having this personal goal as a way to surprise him when he gets home has DEFINITELY given me something to focus on. I already feel better, and the natural endorphins that help boost your mood when you work out is certainly helping me, today.

Anyway ... HOT BODY, HERE WE COME!! Wooohooo!!!

MonaVie RVL Weight Loss Plan

MonaVie EMV Lite Natural Energy Drinks

I Married My Best Friend

March 27th, 2011

Chris and Jen Avakian

 We did it! Somehow, I was able to find someone who would marry us on a minute's notice. A very simple, yet very beautiful, ceremony was performed on the private beach where we live. We had so much fun! There are so many things I will cherish, but being able to just walk down to the beach while Chris is deployed and stand in the spot where we were married will be a great comfort to me.

Our photographer did an amazing job! Big thanks to her for also being able to come help us out last minute. We love you, Theresa!

 Our wedding rings ... symbolizing unity, love, and strength.

One thing that I have always cherished is his heartbeat ...

Hey, look! We even got the right hand! Or ... is it left? :)

Yes, it is definitely the right, left hand. ;)

Off we go to make our own footprints on the world. 

Photography by: Theresa Benedetto

Home Preparation

I think we are good to go as far as the next part goes. We have dealt with Chris being away from home for weeks at a time already. Childcare is handled. Chores and responsibilities are handled. This part is a piece of cake.
   
Preparing your home and life for deployment
The absence of a family member may mean that you'll have to do things differently at home and in the rest of your life. If you take the time to prepare for these changes, you may find it easier to adjust. Here are some things you should think about when you're preparing for deployment:

• Review child and elder care arrangements . If you need help covering your child or elder care needs, contact any services that may be available to you through the military, in your community, or through another employer for support and resources. If you already have a child care plan in place, review it to make sure that the absence of a family member will not be a problem.

• If there are certain chores or duties that the deployed family member always does, make sure you know how to do them, too . In some families, one person is responsible for maintaining the car or for grocery shopping. If this is the case in your family, make sure you feel comfortable taking on that responsibility on your own. 

Well, that covers preparation! I almost wanted to add an "H" after that word, because I really thought all of this was going to be a pain in the butt. ;) Writing things down and putting things into perspective clearly helps sort through things that may appear difficult or overwhelming. Challenge one, DONE! :)

Legal and Financial Preparation

This is the part for which we will struggle completing. If we were not getting married, most of this is already handled. However, our new marriage means new legal forms and documents to handle prior to deployment. I will have to keep you posted as to how well we get this covered, as there isn't much I can do with any of this at this point in time.

The next part is where it gets real and hard to swallow. We have to prepare for the worst. Nobody wants to face the fact that their husband may die, but the possibility is there. Wow ... having a bit of trouble blogging on this part. Clearly, I don't want to face the "what-ifs" right now. If you don't mind, I am going to stick to the basics at this time and perhaps touch on this subject some other time.

Alright, so, all of these forms have to change after we are married. Finding the time to get to the attorney to do it, however, will be our challenge.

• Update and check legal and financial documents and details . This should include updating wills and medical directives, creating powers of attorney documents, and ensuring that family members have access to accounts and documents. 

This part is all covered. I am good to go! :D

• Make sure all important contact numbers are easy to find. Gather information about how to reach the deployed family member, including numbers for contacting appropriate military officials for information and updates. Make sure you also know how to contact your spouse's family. 

Chris and I will talk about this next part when he is home. Luckily, we did have the emergency funds set up for the storm that happened, leaving us without power for two days. We lost all of our food in the fridge and freezer, and my back window in the car was busted out by flying objects. Total damage and cost of replacing things, $1,052. The damage to the car was less than our insurance deductible, so we had to eat the total cost of repairs.

Just a few days after that, Shaun and I dealt with the tsunami warning here in Hawaii. We had to deal with a forced evacuation in which I was told we had one hour to get what we could and get out. We had nowhere to go. All we did was pack as much as we could in our car, left our house at midnight (as that was our community's deadline to get out), and drove to high ground. I parked the car on the side of a mountain, and there we sat until 5:30 a.m. waiting for devastation. Thank goodness it never came, but the whole ordeal was extremely horrifying after seeing what happened in Japan as we were packing. We are very thankful to have no losses from this. My heart goes out to Japan.

Point being, we had nowhere to go. I assume with having Navy resources, this type of emergency will provide us answers to having resources if something were to go wrong again. Chris and I will clarify this upon his return.

• Create a family emergency plan . Talk about what you'd do in the case of an emergency, including where you'd go and how you would get in touch. Involve children and other family members in these discussions in appropriate ways. Talk about how finances will be handled in an emergency. Have an emergency fund you can tap into for the unexpected. Make sure you have contact numbers for emergencies including the numbers for financial assistance.

OK, all of this is taken care of. We handled all of these things prior to this current time he has had to be underway. WE ROCK!

• Talk about how you'll handle finances during the deployment . If your deployed spouse typically takes care of the family finances, make sure that you feel comfortable assuming these responsibilities. Make sure that you agree on a plan for accessing and using all checking, savings, or investment accounts as well as safety deposit boxes. Go over all bills that will need to be paid during the deployment period, including taxes. If it's necessary, make arrangements for the direct deposit of the paycheck of the person who will be deployed.

All in all, things look good. See what happens when I sit down and put things in perspective. :)

Emotional Preparation

"Everyone reacts to the news differently," it says. It's a little different for me, because I have known about this deployment for a while, however, my intention was not to move out here until after the deployment was over. Love has a mysterious way of screwing up even your most thought out plans, doesn't it? Anyway, I know that many families get little to no warning of their significant others' deployment. In that aspect, I feel very blessed to at least have the time we do have, even if it will be short lived.

With that said, we were put on fast motion to get everything done, and we are still not done. I am very stressed out, worried, sad, and afraid. I also have positive emotions brewing inside me of conquering a challenge, setting goals, and being comforted by people who are going through the same thing. I feel fairly balanced right now, but that can change from day to day with me. Haha!

The negative emotions come from the inner person in me who is a planner and someone who likes to be prepared. With this lifestyle, planning only takes you so far, because everything is written in sand, and I mean very wet sand. Just when you think you have your words written for all the world to see, the water comes and takes it all away.

The stress also comes from worry. There is a lot to worry about from only having a short time to get so many things accomplished, to what happens after he leaves. 

Chris and I have very good communication skills, which I think makes this whole process a lot easier. I am sure once he gets home and we have a chance to sit down and answer all the open ended questions, this blog in particular will be a thing of the past. He never raises his voice to me, nor I to him. We are respectful of each others' feelings, and we are the best of friends.

The positive emotions involve facing a challenge and conquering it. There is nothing better than the feeling of success after a long, difficult challenge. I will be looking forward to, and focusing on, the day when my husband steps off the submarine and into my arms many, many months from now, and saying, "We made it, Babe!"

I also look forward to setting some personal goals. I have gotten quite out of shape, and I am looking forward to setting a personal goal for myself to feel better, look better, and totally amaze not only myself, but Chris, when he steps off that boat. *wink wink*

To add to things, I start my training for my new job with Hospice on Monday! I am excited, yet wondering if this is such a good idea with everything else going on. Another challenge to tackle! We will see how things go in that department. I will blog more on that another time. For now, I need to go and get my paperwork all prepared to be able to head into work Monday morning. Wish me luck!

Now, let's see how on or offtrack we are on emotional preparedness. 

• Find out as much as you can about the deployment. Unfortunately, we will go back to the "everything is written in wet sand" comment I had made a previous post. Even if I am able to find out where my husband will be stopping in port when he leaves, chances are that information is certain to change. I am told that our ombudsman can assist with more exact information as it approaches, but that still leaves a lady in waiting until such information is given to us. Again, I am simply thankful that there will be the opportunity to communicate once in a while. Chris has also invited to fly me out to see him at one of the places the sub will be. I do not know the details of that, yet, until he returns home. I am excited about this opportunity, and looking forward to being able to actually see each other. (I would love to insert a smiley emoticon in here right now!) :D
  

• Agree on a plan for communicating . We have done this before, so it's nothing new on the communication end of things. The only thing that will be new to me with deployment is the very long time between emails (6 or 7 weeks, maybe more). This is due to missions that must be done where communications will not be allowed for security reasons and the like. I know this will be a trying time for me, and I imagine I will battle some pretty sad emotions at that time. When Chris is in port, we will be able to communicate via the phone and/or the internet. That will feel like the taste of the most delicious chocolate brownie, smothered in ice-cream, with loads of chocolate and caramel sauce, topped with whip cream, nuts, and a single cherry. Yes, it will be that good!
  

• Make a plan for being alone . I already have this covered. I am blessed to have a wonderful gym where we live. This is where my personal goal of getting into shape comes into play. Also, we are quite lucky to only live 0.2 miles from our very own, mile-long, private beach. I think some running up and down that stretch of beach every morning at sunrise sounds like a dream come true!
  

• Talk about your feelings with your partner and encourage him or her to do the same . We have this covered, too. Chris and I are easily able to share our feelings with each other. I love this about him. It's actually one of my many favorite things. I can tell him anything, and he is able to do the same with me. Haha, we may not always take the news well, but we always work through it.
  

• Find support for yourself . I am also quite blessed to have many family and friends. Unfortunately, they all live on the mainland, as stated in a previous blog. However, they are all just a phone call away. The other battle in relying on my family and friends for support is the fact of a six hour time difference where I am the one behind. So, in the evenings, if I need to talk to one of them, it's after midnight for my family. There is also support offered via the Navy. I did go to the pre-deployment meeting where I kept a book filled with information, contact names, and phone numbers. As far as planning, if I do need support beyond my family and friends, I do have contacts available.
  

• Reach out to other people who are going through or have already gone through a deployment . My new friend, Liz, has been very helpful. I was able to friend the FRG (Family Readiness Group) on facebook. There is a lot of information there. They have regular meetings. I am hoping to attend the one they are having this month, however, it's right in the middle of that pinch of time Chris and I have before he ships out. I was sad to realize I had missed a get together of significant others just this past week. I need to start checking on that site every day.
  

• Spend special time together as a couple and as a family . This is going to be the difficult part due to time, but knowing Chris, he is already planning. Just before he left, he took Shaun, and myself to a place called Clay Cafe where we all painted our own soup bowls. Let's see if I can add a link if you are interested in seeing our final projects by clicking on each picture to see more. Clay Cafe Soup Bowls Yay! I did it! I also have my own plans and surprises, however, I will work them around Chris's plans, as he very much likes to be in charge of activities. Also, I very much don't mind. ;)

It appears I have a little more covered than I thought with this part of being prepared. Not bad! On to part two!

How To Prepare

I asked myself if I was prepared for this deployment, if we were prepared, not only as a couple, but as a family with our 10 year old son. The answer is no. We are not prepared. I just moved here. He just moved out of the barracks. We spent a lot of time getting our home set up. We have barely anytime between his current trip out to sea and our deployment. He will be on duty two of those days (where he stays on the submarine instead of coming home), which leaves us little to no time to finish preparations, and in what little time we do have, sneak in a quick exchange of rings and vows, and viola ... Mr. and Mrs. Avakian!

Now, we have to hurry and get as much done as possible: get married, get my military ID, make a change in dependent status, change my name, go to the DMV and get a new license, go back to the courthouse for a new passport, make sure all of our legal documents are in order, make sure all of our finances are in order, and oh, yes, try to find quality time to spend together.

Furthermore, this will be my first deployment with my new spouse. I am new to this area with no family or friends to surround me. There are resources available via the Navy, but as many of my family and friends know, it takes years for me to let someone in my life, to trust them, to be able to cry in front of them. It's that type of support that I am truly going to miss during this time.


All of the above mentioned lead me to get busy and do my research on the internet. I landed at several places for advice, and basically, felt completely overwhelmed by it all. Staying focused, I was able to break things down into sections: Emotional Preparation, Financial and Legal Preparation, and Home Preparation.

For the blogs, I will be breaking things down into sections above, not only for those who are choosing to follow us, but for myself, as well. I would like to get as much preparation done before Chris gets home, so we have more time to spend as a couple before he has to leave again.

And so the preparations begin ...

Never Say Never

What's to come? That is a question I find myself asking almost in continuation as of lately. The fear of the unknown captures most of us in its grasp at least once in our lifetimes, but I am living it on a daily basis.

I always told myself I would never marry someone in the military. I felt my heart would never be able to handle what the families left behind have to go through, not to mention stay strong for the ones who have to leave. The difficulties those families face is an ultimate sacrifice, and I just couldn't see myself being able to handle making such a sacrifice. Never say, "Never."

I am madly in love with a man who would go through anything for me. He has proven time and time again exactly how much I mean to him. It took him a long time, several years, to convince me that we could be more than friends and make it as a couple, and he waited patiently for me to come around. He would take on the world to defend me, and in some light, he actually does. He is in the United States Navy aboard a nuclear attack submarine. We are about to be married, and then he will leave on a long deployment out to sea.

I have left behind my family (bringing my 10 year old son, Shaun, along), my friends, my job, my way of life (the only thing I have really known for years) to marry the love of my life, to support him in his choice to defend our country, and to embark on one of the most challenging journeys I have taken in life.

My fiance's name is Chris. My name is Jen, and feel free to join our family on this wonderful road of before, during, and after.